The tower is hit by lightning

Once I was given what seemed as terrible news: I could be evicted from my house. My family and I might have to find somewhere else to live.

The result of that shocking announcement was that, for the next hour or so, I experienced the following:

-first, the pain of loss, resistance to the pain, again the pain, then giving in to it, then a sort of relief,

-second, awareness of having felt that pain before, of having lost a variety of loved ones and things I needed; awareness of humanity experiencing that pain,

-then, being able to see the pain without being sucked into it, being both inside and outside the pain at the same time,

-then, knowing that there is only so much one can lose; that stripping to the bare essentials leaves one looking at that which cannot be discarded, cannot be lost, cannot be taken away,

-throughout these phases, which were not exactly a sequence but overlapped, I felt both pain and bliss and could no longer tell the difference between them.

Physically I was walking along the streets of a big city. At times I could not feel the pavement, I knew my legs were doing the proper motions to walk, but my movements were almost subconscious. I felt tears continually running down my cheeks.

I was going to an evening class. When I got there, I looked at my teacher and said: "It is all a lie". It was one of the most lucid moments of my life. I felt no need to struggle. I felt no attachments. I knew I had been wrong to believe in the comforts and safety of matter, of personal "love". For a short span of time, I really no longer cared.

Life went on. I kept on working, "loving", struggling. But I remember. I remember what can be lost and that which cannot. At that moment the veil was pierced, the painted veil that portraits all I think I am, everything I think I own. I felt the light behind it.

I am reminded of this experience today, looking at a Tarot key.

What about mediation?

Mediation is not taking the middle path by looking left and right and calculating an average.

Mediation is not a one-dimensional line but a two-dimensional strip in a surface. It takes something from both its left and its right, so that it can truly walk between the two.

Being in the middle does not mean standing one's ground away from extremes but rather mingling evenly, merging into the in-between. Then something new can happen.

On partnership

Marriage and partnership share the mysterious qualities of 2 and 1. The union of opposites, the greatest riddle, is what many humans aspire to manifest... by finding another human with whom to overcome duality. In marriage, two become one.

If you look hard enough at your partner, you may eventually see him or her. You may also end up seeing yourself. Finally, you may see nothing at all: zero, beyond everything, within everything.

Any association, any partnership with equality at its very base, will lead to unity and then nothingness-infinity, given enough time.

We are probably lucky to be given many lives in which to practice this.

Stick or carrot?

The only question to ask to my desires is: "what is my motivation to do this?"

There is one right answer and many wrong ones.

The right answer: "to be more aware". Any other answer is wrong.

If I answer the right anwer, I am chasing the (right) carrot; if I answer wrongly, I am bound to be hit by the stick, now or eventually... and, thus, become more aware!

To be more aware means:
-expressing the attributes of God while existing in a physical, incarnate form;
-not denying myself or others the opportunity of that expression, knowing we are entitled to it;
-switching appropriately between expressions of wisdom, understanding, compassion, justice; skilfully using my aspirations, intellect, emotions, body...

Small wonder the unveiling of awareness is a lifelong enterprise!