Holding and letting go

There is no letting go without a previous attachment. Yet no attachment is possible if things were not previously separate, unattached.

Is this the way out of anything? First, holding it fast, looking into it with intention, willingly; absorbing it, becoming one with it... Then, setting it free, becoming one with the One, surrendering ourselves and our troubles to the vastness. Beyond a particular understanding or a specific feeling.

The movement that appears is that of a cycle, holding and letting go embracing each other. Each impossible without its counterpart.

Expression or equation?

I can see the universe as a mathematical expression. Something that is. The equivalent to a number, to a given (though sometimes unknown) value.

I can also see the universe as a mathematical equation. A balance. A set of scales. A riddle that could be, perhaps, worked out.

The first view stresses the result, the second one focuses on the process. Both are beautiful.

"Light descends through 6 and ascends through 8", I was once told, by someone who had read about sacred architecture.

The expression will always point to number 1, which is closely related to the hexagon (6) because the radius of the circumference is also the side of the six-sided regular polygon.

The equation will, I believe, change in time, according to my level of understanding. I may start out with a polynomial function, go through a phase of inequations, then dive into systems with three variables... This "building up one's structure towards unity, in small steps" is very much the feature of number 8, the octagon, the octagonal support for domes in churches.

6 or 8, all is 1. And 0 is everywhere and nowhere.

Am I concentrating?

Mercury is quick. No wonder they call it quicksilver.

The feature of our attention, also known as our Mercury, is quick, too. Sometimes it can outrun us!

Attention wavers, flickering back and forth, left and right, up and down. Without us noticing, it has travelled far, and back.

Keeping one's attention pinned down to a specific reality is truly something.

Inbetween

If all consciousness is, in fact, One, but we subdivide it according to its function, and thus obtain the subdivision superconscious-selfconscious-subconscious... is there a land between these modes?

If consciousness is a continuum and not a set of separate boxes, are there borderlands between our selfconscious and our subconscious minds? More importantly: are there places between our selfconscious and our superconscious minds?

When does matter become spirit?

Matter will disgregate when left to its own devices, maximum entropy and minimum enthalpy.

Molecules tend to move in different directions when this disintegration takes place.

When consciousness is brought into the equation, the movement vectors of the atoms align and point to one and the same direction.

Thus matter becomes progressively more spiritual, always depending on the level of the consciousness that aligned the atom vectors.

The ultimate aim of matter is to consciously become a part of the One Will.

Equinox

So near the equinox, light and shadow balance.

What is the nature of evil? Can we look at its face in a mirror?

Evil has a will (but it is not the Will).

Without Good, there is no Will. Even the worst of wishes, the worst possible will, is only a path (convoluted!) back to the One Will.

Rejoice in this balanced time, a time for harvesting the sun's bounty, and love the dance between shadow and light.

Thank you.

Gratitude will soar, like the water level up a well.

Yin and yang

Suppose there is a heavenly Mother and a heavenly Father... they don't quarrel.There is a lot of information running between them, but no misunderstandings.

Every couple tends to that balance, that dance. It is potentially there, in every couple, in every two.

The yin-yang dance of the opposites, let us learn it, until we are one.

Non sum dignus?

When facing the Highest, what have we got, if not indignity?

Our will, which is not ours, the tendency towards Him. Our sincere aspiration, lasting in time, to tread the path of return to the One.

The tower is hit by lightning

Once I was given what seemed as terrible news: I could be evicted from my house. My family and I might have to find somewhere else to live.

The result of that shocking announcement was that, for the next hour or so, I experienced the following:

-first, the pain of loss, resistance to the pain, again the pain, then giving in to it, then a sort of relief,

-second, awareness of having felt that pain before, of having lost a variety of loved ones and things I needed; awareness of humanity experiencing that pain,

-then, being able to see the pain without being sucked into it, being both inside and outside the pain at the same time,

-then, knowing that there is only so much one can lose; that stripping to the bare essentials leaves one looking at that which cannot be discarded, cannot be lost, cannot be taken away,

-throughout these phases, which were not exactly a sequence but overlapped, I felt both pain and bliss and could no longer tell the difference between them.

Physically I was walking along the streets of a big city. At times I could not feel the pavement, I knew my legs were doing the proper motions to walk, but my movements were almost subconscious. I felt tears continually running down my cheeks.

I was going to an evening class. When I got there, I looked at my teacher and said: "It is all a lie". It was one of the most lucid moments of my life. I felt no need to struggle. I felt no attachments. I knew I had been wrong to believe in the comforts and safety of matter, of personal "love". For a short span of time, I really no longer cared.

Life went on. I kept on working, "loving", struggling. But I remember. I remember what can be lost and that which cannot. At that moment the veil was pierced, the painted veil that portraits all I think I am, everything I think I own. I felt the light behind it.

I am reminded of this experience today, looking at a Tarot key.

What about mediation?

Mediation is not taking the middle path by looking left and right and calculating an average.

Mediation is not a one-dimensional line but a two-dimensional strip in a surface. It takes something from both its left and its right, so that it can truly walk between the two.

Being in the middle does not mean standing one's ground away from extremes but rather mingling evenly, merging into the in-between. Then something new can happen.

On partnership

Marriage and partnership share the mysterious qualities of 2 and 1. The union of opposites, the greatest riddle, is what many humans aspire to manifest... by finding another human with whom to overcome duality. In marriage, two become one.

If you look hard enough at your partner, you may eventually see him or her. You may also end up seeing yourself. Finally, you may see nothing at all: zero, beyond everything, within everything.

Any association, any partnership with equality at its very base, will lead to unity and then nothingness-infinity, given enough time.

We are probably lucky to be given many lives in which to practice this.

Stick or carrot?

The only question to ask to my desires is: "what is my motivation to do this?"

There is one right answer and many wrong ones.

The right answer: "to be more aware". Any other answer is wrong.

If I answer the right anwer, I am chasing the (right) carrot; if I answer wrongly, I am bound to be hit by the stick, now or eventually... and, thus, become more aware!

To be more aware means:
-expressing the attributes of God while existing in a physical, incarnate form;
-not denying myself or others the opportunity of that expression, knowing we are entitled to it;
-switching appropriately between expressions of wisdom, understanding, compassion, justice; skilfully using my aspirations, intellect, emotions, body...

Small wonder the unveiling of awareness is a lifelong enterprise!

What about reflection?

The world is the result of a lattice I have woven with my own hands.

Life agrees to whatever I weave, and Matter fills it up.

If I wove it in my sleep, if I wove it while I was having a nightmare, then who is to blame if the world looks tilted?

Dream good dreams.

Is ignorance bliss?

Ignorance is looking at signs and seeing them upside-down. Seeing them partially. Distorting them.
Thus ignorance is not bliss. It is just ignorance.
Ignorance can only feel like bliss for a short period, until the wheels turn and what went around comes around, until the time comes to reap what we sowed and so learn from our mistakes.

What can I do?

My only freedom is deciding where to fix my gaze. What to listen to. What I focus on, and what I don´t focus on. What will I do? What is my will to do?

Then, quietly, somewhere hidden, those bytes of information get stored. That is no longer my will. It will happen, regardless. Every cell remembers.

The hidden and the holy have something in common. They laugh in unison.

So what can I do? My only freedom is where to fix my gaze. Maybe if I can hear the laughter...